The year that wasnt.

This year just flew by. I mean, so do others but they do make few impressions. This one, surprisingly, is devoid of any memorable events. None that I can recall. May be it was about the perfect balance-- no sharp surprises, not complete happiness, not complete sadness... perfectly boring I should say. See, that's the problem..."perfect" is a problem...had it been self-destructing or universe shattering....

nywa....hope I have a fun-filled 2009....I like surprises....

When the left eye laughed and right eye cried.

I felt relieved. But that made me empty.

I felt it was time to move on. But that made me even more tied to the past.

I felt I made an error of judgment. But that made me happy once.

I felt I was ready for the future. But that made me realize I have no heart for it. I cannot again will myself to be completely involved and my weak heart cannot bear strong emotions again. Ever.

I felt I was being myself. But that made all my friends (or so I thought) turn to foes.

I stood my ground. But I soon got marooned on the "I"sland.

I stated reason. They fought back with blind emotion.

I feel drained. But that only makes me want to stick to my beliefs even more.

That's when my left eye laughed and right eye cried.

The Whispering Sands

Along the road did I walk
The sands along had stories to talk
And remind me of things gone by
And of the time that did fly

I had done too much too soon
Throwing my life out of tune
Did I make myself a toon?
Or, will all be gone by the next new moon?

Along the road did I walk
The sands along had stories to talk
Telling me all's not gone
It's not always that's done

I remember the time I was a child
I was footloose and wild
And so will I continue to be
Forever and ever free

Along the road did I walk
The sands along had stories to talk
If you stand up and take a look at me
That Iam for real you shall see

So many stars, full of crystal fire, but cold at the same time. Stars infinitum, guarding the secrets of the universe. Stars twinkling, chained to the sky, free only when they decide to fall. Stars- remote and uncaring, as they shine down a turbulent world.

Now, whoever watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S needn't be told how great the show is and whoever din't, well, they must have heard how great it is from those who watched it. But ,what I love about F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is that it makes you wanna eat. These guys hang out all the time, EATING, talking, joking...and when I watch them, I too want to eat while watching the show. I end up eating all day long!!! :O (more often than not, I watch the show non-stop...there were days when I got up just for watching it all day long! And when I need to be in clg, I usually watch it on my mobile :D ) As I was saying, I eat my way through the show...invariably, I eat whtaver they are (all that is vegetarian....dat means veg pizza along with Phoebe, chips and icecream with Joey :D ). Man! Iam going to end up like Joey (in that episode when Phoebe wonders what it would be like if Monica and Joey got married) saying "how u doin' " to the food!!!!! heheee...

The one with the feeling godly, books, feeling peeved, fantasy coming true and humpty-dumpty!

Contrary to the range of emotions I go through everyday (which is just one-feeling bored), today there was a lot that happened. Yes, I can totally sit at home the whole day and yet feel so many things (funny I feel bored when Iam surrounded by people).

It's just that there is so much to "Accomplish" and so many things left undone. If I cared enough, I wouldn't even be having the time to rant all this in my blog. But I don't want to do anything at all. For a change, I want to sit back doing nothing and watch the show go on. For a change, I want to be this devil-take-the-hindmost-attitude girl. I couldn't have been more ridiculous,telling myself the things would be done even without my interference..no, no complete flight from work and responsibilities. How I got that idea, I don't know and care not..but Iam too lazy to do the work. Sorta makes me feel "godly"...god just watches the show go on. Even without me, the show must go on. Or, perhaps, for this part of god's show, Iam not given any part. Iam the "slowdown" button in the elevator--it's there and gives an illusion of doing work. Or, Iam in this party where there are so many people that your absence isn't missed.

I read 2 books today-leftover part of Eldest and M&B's " The Rake's Redemption". OH, how I love reading books. The smell of the books is invigorating-it fills me with this "lively" feeling..the disticnt smell (and especially of old books!!! wow!!!) invites me to the hidden treasure. Oh, just to grab a book and a chocolate/hot cuppa and sit in a corner...oh,place doesn't matter..just the mere thrill of reading the book . It takes me into this entirely different parallel universe. Books, for all the times-the gud, bad, dark, lonely, angry and helplessness....they are my best refuge when I can't or don't want to figure out reasons.


Was watching the tv and was peeved by the way they potray these love bugs. The heoine keeps thinking of who her love is going to be and the scene shifts to where the guy keeps thinking of his elusive lady love. Wham! some right-outa-fairy-tale scene and they meet each other and yet another story begins.... may be that's the way it happens..but its always for others. Me, have no such luck...everyone around me seems to be having them..may be, they don't read books and so are unsuspecting about it..and it happens for them..me, i keep reading books and so..its never gonna happen!!


Always been a fantasy-kick in the crotch and spit on the face. For a change, the fantasy came true. Courtsey- One (or two) of my unsuspecting friends. God has a weird sense of humour. He wanted to grant me this fanatsy of all!! ( I have the best fantasies- just a box to live in with books and dahi puri ; the box be made of cake; give me the gift of time and throw me with the box into space and wham! iam in a continuum) These fantasies hardly qualify as slefish or outrageous-they are too innocent..and yet...


Lastly, Hmpty-Dumpty din't just happen to fall; she was PUSHED. Keep watching this space for more on that!

Dream, Part 2.

Dream, Part 2 is an attempt at understanding Dream, Part 1. So, here goes:

What is it that dreams signify? Few dreams turn out to be true, others do not. Then, are dreams true or false or both ( don't even get me started on things that can or could be both this and that at the same time; you should really think of yourself as seeing into a mirror wearing one shoe whilst in the mirror you are wearing the "other" shoe. One side, you wear the right shoe, on the other "side", you wear the left one) ? Do they predict the future or just reflect our deepest emotions or thoughts? Since future is relative and depends on the path we choose in the present, obviously then only few dreams turn out to be true. But what if the dream you see now influences you to take a particular path you din't think existed and it led to an entirely new destiny? Or you could also end up doing something to make the dream come true...either way, it changes your destiny ( or was that how you could reach the "intended" destiny?) . But, what about the fact that a man can alter his own destiny to gud or bad which in other words mean, there are multiple denstinies to choose form? ( Or may be there is just one destiny and which ever round-about way you choose, you finally end up there )

Yet, it is truly amazing that the mind can predict stuff in sleep that effortlessly than when we are awake....How come something as elusive, complex and mysterious as future present itself before us with such striking simplicity and that too in sleep!! Does that mean we do have an ability subconciously to foresee the exact nature of future with all its subtilities and implications? May be, but since we are just presented with just a "teaser preview", we loose it once we are wide awake again!! :P Perhaps we try to alter the future based on the preview and later bitch about the fact that we cannot foresee ( once awake, we must become real short-sighted! )..... And then there are dreams in which you are a fairy, live in chocolate houses....just fantasies which never come rue in this life or the after life.


Sighhh! So, dreams are just something which amuse you in your sleep and then make you waste all your time on analyzing them...yaaaawn...so much for some dreamless sleep....

Dream, Part 1

So, have you been to a place or met somebody or found yourself in a situation and suddenly thought, "oh, wait a minute, I've already been here or done the same thing...but it was in a dream!!" Strange feeling, really, but also sort of makes you feel "gifted" . I have had this wonderful feeling many a time,and I truly felt "special" but also confused a little. Ive had dreams about things I was going to be doing, people (I already know) I would be meeting, places I was going to be in....but what does this mean?

If everything's right, something is wrong. (?!?)
Does it mean imperfection is inherent in god's creation? (Wait a minute, isn't god supposed to be perfect?) Or are we too cynical to see the obvious? Or is it that the fear of being at a later stage makes us too careful (or paranoid) ?
If we consider an implicit imperfection, remember, it is us who are "considering" it -as in we assume there is an inherent flaw. Does it mean we cannot appreciate things unless and until juxtaposed with a contrasting thought? If we consider, again we are "considering", that god has created an imperfect world, it can mean just one- that we need a scapegoat. Ultimately, it all boils down to the wrong way we view things. Anything can be completely and wholly right- unless we are too afraid of perfection. Or, giving an importance to the ends rather than to the means.

While an intelligent man seeking revenge is justified, a frustrated soul punishing himself is not. Apparently, the latter is more of a danger than the former. The frustrated soul, it seems, is trying to get at others by punishing himself and is more dangerous than the person who is directly seeking out revenge.

Sometimes, being short sighted can help you ignore people you want to. Like when I wanted to sing aloud with my sore throat. I just removed my spectacles and started singing. I don't know and don't want to know my unfortunate victims. GN & GL.

Who will have the last laugh anyway?

Someone told me that the financial situation is so bad that women are now marrying for love. And added that it struck him as funny. Well, why wouldn't it? The joke's on women, undoubtedly men find it amusing. They think women want rich guys? Roger this : If brains were gold (more often than not, men labour under the delusion that they are intelligent) the Earth would be such a poor place to live in, which it is now! Suddenly, the smile vanished. Surprisingly, not surprising! When the joke is on men, it's either a pj or no joke at all! But who has the last laugh anyway?

Danielle Steel !! I've been reading her books and gotta say she's amazing at taking you through the length and breadth of a relationship..any relationship..b/n mother and daughter/son, father and daughter/son and more importantly between a man and a woman. The intensity of a relationship with all its glories and pitfalls is beautifully portrayed with occasional peeps into the protagonists' pasts and is intertwined with other couples and the parallels each draws from the other....or the journey of two different people in quest for that "perfect someone". I can't help but notice a common thread that seems to hold the central plot in quite a lot of her novels- its what I'd like to call as the "back-hurting-knife-syndrome"-which goes typically like...when the right guy comes along finally, you have the guts to say "no thanks, iam married". :)) ROFL. But reading her books practically changed my entire attitude towards love and relationships. It's not what seems to be that matters. Period.

Anyway, I also happened to watch 2 movies which showed 2 extremities of love- complete letting go of the person you love (or so you thought; like in My Best Friends Wedding) and the other one of hope and that of dreams coming true (as in Enchanted). But the many doubts in my mind are left unanswered.....or may be all these threw me into a bigger confusion when none existed in the beginning..oh, for the quest to know "what is "love" " !!!!

~ Heartbeat. Thumping pitter pat; wondering where it's at... ~

--> How is your life today?
Exciting. My fav hero's movie is going to hit the screens soooooooooooooon [:)]

--> What is the last song you heard to?
All the songs of andamaina ababdham. [:D]

--> What is the latest thing on your wish list?
Well, I suddenly have an urge to hit a bowling alley...my fav hero's a ten-pin bowler! :) **blushes**

--> What are you doing right now?
SMILING :) :) :) ...it's just that a smile on his face lights up mine...everyone's for that matter....he's got this amazing smile...always got that on his face.... :)

--> Are you crazy?
No, but a ventriloquist might answer you better. He can call your bluff, in your face and still get away with it.

Do you know the story of me and eeshy?

For the life of me, I can't figure out why eeshy can't live without me at all! No matter how much I try to get away from eeshy! Seems like eeshy just can't get enough of me. I pine all my hopes on a very important thing and wham! there eeshy is, making it unnencesary of me to even try to go for it. I go for an important exam and oh no! eeshy gives me just the right answers to make my peace with the results beforehand. I try going here and there, trying to get far away from you eeshy. Y don't you understand that?!? Leave me alone for cryin out loud! Believe me, my life would have been more better without you. I don't need your help-I don't need you to foresee everything for me so that I don't waste my time on useless ( according to you) pursuits! But you have this really annoying habit of not being satisfied with your help- you try to help me more with every passing hour. You have narrowed all my paths leading to one thing in my life: leading to what I want..according to u! but I don't want what you deem as good for me. I have my own plans for myself, thank you very much. It's high time you left me. Oh, btw, eeshy is the name I give someone or something I can't get heads and tails of. In this particular post, it is bad luck. So far, it has ruined all my pursuits and the way I go about to achieve happiness.

Thanks to it, happiness has become such an abstract concept in my life. Now there's no way but to give in and lap up what ever it has in store for me...but the fighter in me doesn't seem to take to it kindly..but the more i try, the more Iam getting thwarted.

Now, who gets to decide what I get or no?!? If any, I should be the one to decide. Who plans on this vicious and devious route to happiness for us?? But some people seem to have their way, no matter what...does that mean they are better fighters than me? Or does it mean someone deemed that as right for them? who is this someone? sounds like he/she isn't going to be my friend anyway when i finally get to meet him/her on the other side of the world....

wtf!

Every other day, you listen to politicians giving off statements (they think we elected them for want of people who give away rubbish talk left, right and centre) and one particular sentence is what irks me the most. Every time there are terror strikes, this is ALL we hear from every politician... ".... these strikes are clearly the acts of cowardice by anti-national extremist elements and I strongly condemn these acts of atrocities...."

ACTS OF COWARDICE???!!!!??? wtf! How can something which was so bold and well planned and which was executed with such efficiency ( that perfection should actually put our successive govt's to shame...they never implemented a single useful law with such finesse) be termed an act of cowardice? Wake up, dear leaders! It is indeed the result of your vote-bank politics...your vile dog-whistle-kind of politics ( just like how dogs make a high pitched sound to intended audience, you use a peculiar language of your own to achieve your ends)...if anything, yours are acts of cowardice: you can't stand up on any one issue strongly. Not on reservation, not on education, not on atrocities against women and children, not on child labor, not on animal protection....the list would go on and on! The real anti-national extremist elements are you dear leaders! You with your flawed assumptions about power and the people who give you that. You are actually perpetuating a more henious crime than those people who are venting their ire by these so called "terror strikes". You are actually following the "divide and rule" policy..won't say it din't work..it did, but with disastrous results as was proved in 1947. You want to please all the communities , men and women at the same time...or atleast you work under that guise...what you have acheived by being smarmily dupicitous on the outside, meanwhile jabbing hard at people's asses is India as it is in front of your eyes. Goverment blaming the people and vice-versa. Everybody says they have a solution, while the problem still persists. You want to project India as a democracy...while everywhere we (people) see, it is actually a clique whcih rules us; it is a democracy as long as we agree with it's policies. It is precisely the insecurities of this clique as a whole which forces it to resort to such unabashed policies. This makes you more cowards than those people who resort to terror strikes.

I do not mean to support these attacks or say that they echo the sentiments of people; rather I mean to say the problem lies both in the whistle and the people whom it is not meant for.

P.S: I have a right to hold my own judgement.

Optimism is just an other word for pretense. Only, this time around, you pretend to be a fool ; but that doesn't mean you come out feeling any more wiser than you would be if you were dr.skeptismo in the first place.You then realize you are a lot more foolish than when you allowed yourself to be optimistic and got lost in the myriad possibilities it offers.Optimism works on the central premise that reality is negotiable when instant gratification is far more appealing than accepting the reality. When you stop pretending, you can't accept yourself anymore.

what more can you ask for?

Hail the season of movie extravaganza! It's a battle for honor among equals. You've got Drona, Kidnap and Karzzzz (with all dose extra zzzzzz's...it totally getzzzzzz u). Suit yourself-u've got a brooder, a chocolate boy sayin "hell is here, ain't it" (or somehting like that) and a guy who has got a hair transplant and is reborn--just to entertain you! ( [:(] ) While each is busy givin' off press statements that his movie is the "best", "an epic" , all we have to do is to pray for another sting operation on one of our politicians or another pre-polls bonanza or a mysterious murder to hit the headlines and give bollywood a respite from limelight (for dishing out such great movies). Gudluck and have fun.

I thought contact lenses would come out along with my tears if I cried and that there would be none of that irritating itching sensation in my eyes. I was wrong about both.

Then and now

The good times and the bad times. From the blissful 12 year old to the (arguably) 20 year old intellectual that Iam. Here's what few things meant to me then and now.

1. Mother then was the perfect friend and someone whom I always used to look up to. Now, she's "that-forever-suspicious-on-me".

2. God was all about the "prasadam" I got in the temple. Now, he's the eternal and absolute, all-pervasive and the ultimate truth.

3. Back then, pen was all I had to unleash my creativity in essay writing competitions. Now, I use it to write love-letters (creative love letters :P ; although the one and only one I wrote in my life was typed in a word document and it served the exact opposite of the intended effect-it must've bored him to death **sigh** )

4. Marks meant the be-all and end-all. Now, I don't give a fart to them.

5. Fashion was restricted to matching hair bands. Now, streaking my hair pink ( a la Avril) doesn't satiate my appetite for fashion.

6. I used to add 5 more years to my age back then. Now, I deduct a year or two :)

7. Only "clean" movies were allowed. Now, I can totally sit through a whole gamut of emotions - silence of the lambs ("horror"), serendipity (boring), desperado ( the scene :P ), the Bourne series (action).

8. Used to go for nancy drew, hardy boys, alice in wonderland...you get the idea...now I go for extremes- M&B's or Shakespeare or Ayn Rand.

9. Used to believe in rhymes:

If I live in Delhi
I need to eat jelly

And shout like a banshee

Now, Ive discovered everything in life isn't exactly in sync and doesn't follow a rhyme and a reason.

10. Wanted to be "something" when "I grow up". Needless to add, I don't really find a purpose or a worthy "goal" in my life anymore.

Apparently, someone wants me to beg for news from their side or tell it for them (so it would seem like "i know what you wanted me to know and i know it" oh, i follow you like a faithful dog so you can just make it seem like " oh, ive done dat to a lot of random chicks" ) and then feign surprise that they forgot telling you. I din't. You don't want to talk anymore. FINE BY ME!

1. Probability theory says you get either a head or tail. You win if you get your guess right.

2. Heads or tails, I always loose.

The jobless gets a job :)

I volunteered for getting tagged :D so..here's the deal:

The post is supposed to be done this way :

* For the 20 questions that have been asked, write down your honest answer (in a word or two).
* Type your answers, one by one, on an exactly-as-written-on-paper basis, in the search bar of any image search engine that you prefer (Flickr / Google Image Search etc.).
* You MUST use the same search engine for all 20 answers.
* For every answer, only from the FIRST page of the search result, save exactly ONE image.
* Once you have a list of 20 images, each corresponding to one answer, compose a post in line with this post that you are reading right now.

My source: Google Image Source


1. My Age:






















Judge me by my act.


2. Iam passionate about:























Yes, I love HOWARD ROARK, her Highness philosophy rather!


3. My favourite place:






















Free zone: Voyage 34.


4. I have a thing for:





















The pirate of my heart :D


5. My comfort zone:






















6. My favourite animal:

















Hippogriff Buckbeak!


7. My kinda art:





















"Mother India". Reminds me of the statue in "Stoddard Temple".


8. The town where I was brought up:

















Wonderland!


9. The town where I live:


















Happening Hyderabad!


10. A past pet:





















Hedwig!


11. A past love:




















whoaaaa!!! First saw him in the song "pardesia ye sach hei piya" :D


12. My present love:





















Joey or drake, u rock :D :)


13. Best friend's nickname:
















Harryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :)


14. I want:
















Joey: Come on, you're single. Have some hormones. Ross: See, but I don't want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again. Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!

15. Screen name:





















Ginny


16. A bad habit:



















17. A dream:




















I'am a fairy :)


18. A first job:










It's a fun job!


19. I miss:






















But of course, all good things have to end :(


20. What am I doing right now?



















P.S: 1. An amazing idea for a post. Cheers!!! Took a long time, but iam jobless, so i can't talk. :) :D

Sometimes, I have bad dreams

My 4 yrs in Engineering ( Iam yet to finish my 4th yr, but lets just say I don't really care anymore) :

First year was confusion and trepidation
Second year was many a startling revelation
Third year was finding many a retention
Fourth year is resurrection and retribution.


Few fundas:

1. You shouldn't mean what you say.
2. Although you have nothing to say, say something for the heck of it.
3. If you think you are the boss and giving off orders to people who are "nothing", you should know you are the boss of nothing.
4. Its better to laugh at others stupidity to yourself than to correct them and get branded as insolent and show-off and a know-it-all.
5. Don't assume.
6. People don't change. They have an innate stupidity that comes out in different forms at different times.
7. If you know how to act, you are the darling.
8. Shallow conformation is always information.
9. People laugh at me because Iam different. I laugh at them because they are all the same.
10. My bleeding heart does not go out to charity.
11. The truth is actually a worthless lie to the public eye.
12. I don't care.

Duhh! To call it a day!

1.W Trouble!

Today, my keyboard malfunctioned.

"w" and "q" troubled me. Instead of being just what they are, plain w and q, they became w+++++++++++ and q++++++++++ . I tried banging the keyboard and cursing it. I tired putting a string of "-" 's next to "w++++++++" and "q+++++++++" so that they would cancel them out :P :D. I tried yanking the keys out and replacing them. Gave up. Finally, I pushed them really deep into the key board (out of anger, rather than like an idea) with all my strength. IT WORKED!!!! Finally good old, just-what-they-are w's and q's :) :)

P.S: 1. I ran out of words that meant the same as "whatever", "anyway" and even telling people that my w's and q's are acting strange! They kept getting back at me for "wantedly" typing w++++++++ and q++++++++ :( :(

2. A good friend told may be the key board saw the moon ( today is Vinayaka Chavithi. Whoever doesn't know about the tale, pack!).

3. Another good friend mentioned a thing or two about customer support.

4.Both of them advised me to use on-screen keyboard.

*************************************************************************************
2.Movie Trouble!

Had a plan to watch "Rock on". It flopped. Flopped. :( :X

***********************************************************************************

3. What's with these Airtel and Vodafone guys? Why a rupee for wishing friends on a festival? You may say, money shoudn't stop you from wishing friends if i so badly wanted to. Duhh! pack your sermons. Nothing's more endearing than really big things which cost really nothing!

***********************************************************************************

4.I planned to study for my exams. (Iam audacious enough to attribute the above mentioned reasons for the plan gone awry.) Oh, sweet Moses!

**********************************************************************************

5. The only good thing going on in my life was my most-treasured Avril's interview. It's missing! :O :(

**********************************************************************************

6. I din't have a good enough sleep yesterday night. Why the hell am I still blogging?!? (I need to get the day's troubles out of my system). Amen!

**********************************************************************************


P.S: I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Any suggestions???

The Greek God and his French beard

Him and style
Inseparable like a child and it's smile
Like the marriage of a word to its meaning

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
He's the Greek God

Set wet style
Very very sexy
Also he's got a goatee

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
And he has a French beard!

His words are music to the soul
Sure, he's the pied piper
Sent to take you to the moon

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
And he has a French beard!

In his dark black eyes
I want to get lost
I see our future

All summers and winters
That we would spend
Cakes and ale all the way

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
And he has a French beard!

A true rock star
He rocks without a guitar
The bass thumps in my heart

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
And he has a French beard!

His are the sculpted looks
Like an exquisite diamond
Rare and hard to find

For once the creator was indulgent
In an expression of grandiose
Carefully crafted this gem to perfection

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
And he has a French beard!

Fashion's irresistible temptation
Hot couture's messiah
His dance steps are fashion lessons

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
And he has a French beard!

He steals hearts at a glance
His is the intriguing charm
Of fire-n-ice come together

Aye aye moi
He's the Greek God
And he has a French beard!

Y NOMAD?

I hate every MONDAY. I say, "Y NOMAD" every MONDAY??? Why sleep every Sunday night dreading the next morning....thinking of things not done last week that are going to haunt me this week and have my misery compounded by new things to be done...the anticipation of happy new beginnings or crazy endings to happy things which started in some other week like this... Every Monday morning I hear a voice in my head say ,"hey, jumping out of a plane without a parachute! 'luck, the chips might fall anywhere and it will be another task to pick and patch 'em up before the start of another week, unlikely it would be nothing but kickin' and eggs!" Nomad coz at the start of a new week, it is nothing but load and reload, leap from bed to class rooms, from dreamland to eat-you-if-you-let-it-world. Like there was gonna be a holocaust and the devil urged ye to carpe diem dude!

Just yesterday (Saturday), i heaved a sigh of relief that I got over a mess-of-sorts for like two minutes and then another bomb dropped on me(I'am Satan's irresistible temptation **Sad** )! I was looking forward to a fortnight of holidays and my friend called me up to say they were canceled!!!!!!!!!! Instead of a fortnight full of fun, I now have boring classes to look forward to... and exams :( and the funniest thing about these classes is that they are "training for training" :O Story is Ive got selected into this pain-in-the-ass IT major and instead of giving the mandatory training after 4th yr, what they are upto is putting us through "foundation for that training" now :( how stupid can it get?How mundane can my life become??!!!?? Iam okay with the training part, but exams? and no call letter if we don't graduate outta this nightmare?


Shit happens, but only to me! geeeezz....don't haunt me bad times! gerrof me :(

The inherent paradox of our existence

Welcome. And congratulations. Iam delighted you could make it. Getting here wasn't easy, I know. In fact, I suspect it was a little more complicated than you realize. But you will eventually, for Iam going to talk about essence of our existence. And you might just end up with knowing a paradox so great than anything you must have come across, which will help you appreciate for the first time what it means to keep you you.

I will start with you being here. For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and curiously obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, co-operative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agreeable but generally appreciated state known as existence.

Roger this: Atoms are mindless particles and not even themselves alive! Atoms don't even know that you are there - they don't even know THEY are there! For all their devoted attention, they don't even care about you. Yet somehow for the period of your existence they will answer to a single rigid impulse: to keep you you. Imagine the atoms which are nothing but lifeless objects getting together by some inexplicable and miraculous biology and chemistry to create life! For, at the level of chemistry, life is fantastically mundane: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, a little calcium,a dash of sulphur which is all you need.

Yet another thing that baffles me is the arguable decision of these atoms (or whose decision shall we call it...the universal scapegoat god?!? ) to form living things on Earth and decline to do so elsewhere.

The atoms create the wonder called life, in particular, the humans. If the whole body is nothing but atoms, how can few atoms (read the brain) control the other atoms...how can atoms(mindless atoms) form something which can think and communicate the same to other atoms...

So, thank god we don't need to blame the monkeys for evolution ever again! :D

CaReLeSs CuPiD aNd ThE fOrGoTtEn MuRdEr!

Before my birth there was infinite time
Alas! Iam on the other side of the line
After my death is inexhaustible time.

Ah, the seekers of after-life
Through the looking glass, on the other side
It ain't any pretty here, I whine
Haunted, by memories all divine
All in the shadow play of the moonshine

And after all this time-our time has come
The destiny is decided-by the cosmic role of the dice
The eyes met and the time froze
Before I realize, we are in a mental embrace
The point is reached, just stand and stare!

'Twas the first shower, yet was on fire
New blooms, fresh dew and a new life!
The carefree heart flying on a high note
Whoa! was in bliss supreme
God, it sure was love!!
Form this dream, Iam not going to wake...

Now, there is at last a reason to breathe
And make up the days of my life
With told and untold lines
Never mind, if they do not make sense!
Let down thy defense
And stretch back into the vibe
Instead of waking up to another tv guide!

But of course, it was not to be
Blow out the candles on the cake
Like everything's a big mistake

Your love's like one last cigarette
When it's gone, it's gone
I ask, is it enough that I love?

Iam tryin to break free
But its difficult to live and die
Even so, you are gone, gone, gone!

P.S: I do not enjoy writing obituaries, but can't help it if its now not me, but someone else whoz getin to hear all the lines...

paanch ka punch

5 things I started doing recently:

- Listening to anyone who will tell me my blog's cool :)
- Updating orkut profiles for no reason whatever (if being jobless can be a "caus-ant" and the "resultant" :D :P )
- Watching CNN-IBN non-stop and listening to "kabhi kabhi aditi..." all the time
- Shuffling my right ear-ring to the left and vice versa every 5 minutes (I've no idea why)
- Unable to think of a better answer for any question except " doesn't the wall seem perpendicular to the floor tonight? "

5 things I'd like to do:

- Write a book!
- Earn just a few billion dollars (few strictly greater than 1000)
- Go back in time to when I was 5 and try to know what is that i know now that I din't know then or if I'am any better than I was then
- Talk in riddles
- Soon reach the 50 posts' mark in my blog :)

5 crazy things:

- Trying to delete the recycle bin :D
- Gorging on food as if it were a gratification for anger and frustration
- I actually believed Harry Potter and "Mr. Right" to be real life characters
- Ate an ice-cream while simultaneously drinking a potion of coke+thumbs-up+appy
- Took subject books on my library card :O even the librarian, who took it for granted that I only take novels, looked at me long enough as if to sugegst I made a mistake...and those books were left untouched even during my end-sem xams :(

5 arbit things:

- I hear voices in my head (nt even my alter ego :O )
**Listening to voices is not good, not even for a wizard** :P
- Everything is dichotomous to me
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- So, when was the last time anything went according to my plan?
- Google "creativemusa" or "ginny, rogerthis" and my blog is the only search returned :D yeyyyyyyyyy...apllause applause :P

Through the looking glass

** What do the release of a much-hyped-movie, hearing the magical words "i love you" from a dearest person, knowing you passed an exam, the luck-which-forgot-your-address when you need it the most, and release of H.P. 7th book have in common with this post? :D **

The flash back which started it all:

**Time: 10 pm
Date: 6th June, 2007

Scene: Me thinking to brave myself and do the thing I've been postponing since Adam-met-Eve or "something like that" :) But the decision was taken, and I will have to do it. No matter what. And I did it! And been doing it ever since, as a part of what I'd call "days of my life" . In the days to follow, it was an indespensible part of my routine and made my"days of my life" more bearable.**


** This post should actually be posted on the same day, 6th June, albeit this year. But it is being posted on 2nd July :O Now you know what this post has in common with the things I mentioned before :) All of them are much awaited and long due! Yes, my blog-o-versary is one month late :(..yes! BLOG-O-VERSARY. Its been an year since i started blogging and of course, i want to celebrate it :) **

Blogging is ssssoooo much fun :) and this year, i'l come out with more bizzare stuff and thoda change in ishtyle nd more poems (the horror genre :D :P ) coz iam flooded with requests for more poems :P

Cheersss!!!!!!!

gobbledegook

Very recently,
X: "......so then, I won't be loosing her?"
Me: Oh, come on..U arn't such a loser!
X( :O ) : I said, "then i wont be LOOSING HER"!
oops! reminded me of my aural dyslexia again! Throughout my KG nd high school, I mis-interpreted wateva i heard nd formed my own phrases. One classic example( a nursery rhyme):

Old king coal was a greedy cold sole
and a greedy cold sole was he
he called for his pipe, and called it scowl
and, he slept on his pillows three.

While actually, it was:

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he;
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl
And he called for his fiddlers three.

Well, i figured out I wasn't the only one with this fault and began calling it "Freudian slip" later in high-school. Well, that was until I knew there happens to be word describing it : "Mondegreen". Digging deeper into the recesses of my mind I figured out some more of my very own(quite recent) mondegreens' ( Ginny-isms, shud i say? :P ).

1. "Watermelon this!"

{"What the hell is this? "}

2. "Come looks like its a thing gonna bake"

{ " Coz love is something u can't shake" ; from enrique's song "escape" (all apologies :P }

3. "one plus one make stew."

{ "one plus one makes two"}

This one gets interesting....there was no one at home nd me nd sis started cooking....so, my sis said "so, one plus one makes two, eh? Two's a crowd!" And I heard her as "one plus one makes stew"...haha..but it makes perfect sense rite?!?

4. " As it is."

{ " stand at ease"}...haha...durin those assembly sessions nd games periods :P :D

5. " Should we all die young?"

{" shook me all night."}...frm AC/DC's song.

6. "oooooooh harry potter!"

{"....asked the reporter."}

7."I'am your ire."

{"Iam your eyes."}..metallica's song "sad but true".

8." Is he dung?"

{" Is he drunk?"}...haha..apparently someone spoke rubbish...nd my frnd asked me "is he drunk?" nd i misconstrued it.

9."The world is so unfair."

{"The world out there."}

10."No other mother attracts me so much."

{"No other lover attracts me so much."}...gosh!

Hmmm...dats all i can remember...most of my mondegreen's were until 5th class...wen i couldn't even understand what they meant by day scholars(i came to know the spelling in 4/5th class)..nd always misheard most of the carols sung every sunday(it was a christian school nd wen i was in hostel, used to sing 'em!)...nd most of my nursery rhymes!Of course, misunderstood words/songs in telugu nd hindi too...but i can't remember them....do temme about ur mondegreens' as well!

Tomorrow isn't a day of the week.

Yea, there's no day in the week named as "tomorrow". So, the next tym i say or think to myself "this thing can wait for tomorrow", u knw wat i mean :D I love bein lazzzzzzyyyy weneva it suits me. I mean, comeon, my schedule is soo cramped wid soo many other important things-incidentally, these r the very things which have been postponed before nd nw, they assume a state of emergency. I finish off these things and den relax for just a "while" only to attack the new exigencies in time. "just-a-while-mode"lasts for like me goin to say "i hate harry potter".
Trouble started wid me gettin more "elder-sisterly"wid myself . My very own shadow -my silent partner, told me I had to be more organized. Shud i take a choice? but it was never a conscious decision to choose b/w the two ...bt still i chose...i had an option to choose or not...i wud have been well off without choosing and then coming out wid da usual content of dying fr both..or putting it more categorically...livin fr both....bt still...i chose to choose b/w them...and it has been quite a long time i have been trying to figure out wht i actually chose...and as my instinct always asks me to defy convention...i was of the perception tht i chose something different...bt then looking back i was amazed to know tht i didn't actually defy the convention.....

***hold: nw dear readers convention is up to u all....its the way u put it...coz whichever way u put it...the answer to the riddle is gonna be the same...***

now, then wht hav i chosen.....and wht was tht thing i thought i had chosen...????
herez the answer...the finally-long-solved puzzle....the thing i had chosen and the thing i thought i had chosen turned out to be the same ...in fact i thought i had chosen.....bt i was wrong...i actually didn't choose....nw does this mean i had no option or i chose both of them???
the greatest discovery was tht both wer the same in my case...so without knowing ..i chose both of them...thinking i had an option...bt ultimately they both account fr the same....

Did all dis confuse u? well, Iam confused myself and will tell u what my xact choice (the-source-of-trouble) was, "TOMORROW".

P.S: was it the trouble i opted for? nythin i do alwayz throws me into trouble....trouble trouble's me if i trouble the trouble. boo-hoo-hoo.

eriu qeru oyt ah wotni nruti wohd loheb

R u off checking the H.P. books for leads?!? Read it backwards, I say!( dat does make me sound dyslexic to you..but hey, dats just my trick to make you read this post :P). Yeah, read backwards, it translates to"behold how i turn into what you require". So, whoz sayin this? Oh, definitely not concerned with alchemy...it's my clattered room which always sports a forget-me-not-kinda-mess...trash is always wat we throw away thinking it's useless today, but hey guess wat! you will need it the very next second! So, I follow dis golden rule of thumb and store anything nd everything in my room. So, the other day I was searching for my book and dis led me to to quite a journey in the "chamber of secrets" dat my room is.
I did find my lip-balm though, nd my khol-liner too in my hand bag, which I found wen I came across my stack of novels(they r the only things which are maintained apiece coz I love books..nd not a page will miss or tear even wid all mess popping all over!) which I came across wen I found a box (bangles-bindi's-etc-stuff). Ergo, I find shiny stuff under my table(whoa!my sandals!).Ergo, all this after clearing the clothes strewn all over. I find a box having all sorts of medicines-wat if I suddenly have indigestion? wat if I dehydrate suddenly? nd medicines well past their expiry dates? well, if I need to remember their names nd ask the medical-shop-vallah??? yea, I need them. Definitely. So, I don't let go of them. and the old dusty cassettes? well, u never know nd i might get into a moody mood nd i need to lissen all the tragic songs that there are :D. the clothes I'm not gonna wear? come on, they can be of use if ever i want to put my creativity on designing them and morph them into something crazy (one never knows :P ).
Nd bingo! i find the book i need; I'am having my exams :(. Nd, i can't believe i lost so much tym already ( chesedhe one-day batting, andulo 3 hrs pothe elaaa??)
So, if ever a reality show happens in my room, may be i will get rid of all the old-n-dusty-n-embarrassing things? hey, its a reality show, so, I'l be me. :P Thrz always this thing about letting go of things, however useless they are. well, for me, folks.

no-nonsense is easy
all things hazy makin u tizzy?
but hey, the shells are an ugly heap, but u do get a pearl in the midst
but hey, u wanted to hide those secret-letters-n-gifts and the cigarettes
I'd say, the mess made it easier
Ergo, I blog and so, don't clog
Ergo, the mess makes others crazy. :P :D

P.S: only the exams remind me of unfinished businesses -like new posts, novels.....

The doom of cassandra.

We elect verbal pugilists as leaders ( the "merchants of Venice" verses the "merchants of deaths" is a classic) ; harp about no food in the backyard, yet manage to declare food surplus nd export it! We all love ethics nd we say that too often dont we? but hey, guess what! our garbage ends up in our neighbor's backyard! We cry hoarse about anything western but in the same breath lap up their technologies nd even ( all the while cryin sacrilage! though) end up in "netrimony"! Movie actors are our demi-gods, cricketers gods themselves (strictly only if they win matches) . Our arithmetic is really poor ( yes, ramanujam might just shiver in his grave)--> observed the math of reservation? increase the %age of quota for reservation nd also increase seats for unreserved category...so, of what %age r they xactly givin the quota?? i have 1 cake nd u have none, so i give u 1 cake nd take another cake for myself...2=1 rite???? !ncredible India for u....wen we talk abt vision 2020 ( was there smtnhng like India shining too? ) do we hear the echo's of "doom of cassandra" in the background? coz, for a boomerang on their India shining, we ( i mean us people, after realizing much is wanted from our elected representatives) coined youngisthaan--> we r too young nd thrs lots to grow up to actually nd proudly say hindusthan. ( Youngisthaan-wat a vile pun indeed).....not a post to offend ny section of ppl...jst my blog nd my views...

And so the heaven casts its pearls...

Rap.Rap.tik-tak.Platter. Smell of wet earth.WHOA! The thunder cracked open the

sky which till then with-held its pearls. Out came the silver crystals in an unceasing flow...was sittin by my window cursing the heat and my ill luck that nothn aint gng rite ( nd i wrote abt an elixir in a prevs post, all apologies :P) wen rain washed it all away! oh, the zephyr and smell of wet earth; a mug of hot chocolate in one hand and "octopussy" in another.wah! mazaa ayaa...love watching the leaves with rain drops on them and the dark clouds. And then

"jallanta kavvinta kavali le" in the back grnd and this blog....PEACE.

wat u get ain't wat u see/ thing that shud not be...call it wateva

U cry, u cringe and plead and beg, just so dat the one thing dat u hold so dear is given back to u....and look whom uve got to kneel before and beg.....i neva knew someone can change me so much- it is maddening before i get to speak the next tym wid u...yet, i wait for dat one shot at life....i neva knew i can compromise on my ego and go begging....der was never a tym wen i dint give rude answrs to ppl , but u, i promised myself i wudnt hurt u( u kno, i can really lambast ppl wid my tounge).

I see u and me together, and how it shud have been.....

I had a life, once-almost. Now, derz no need to think, feel, LOVE (its gone! :(...). No reason to laugh watsoeva.....

elixir.

**Prolouge: Fate chose the meanest, sharpest knife. cut. bleed. this particular blood tasted wonderful!so,it cuts deeper by the minute. or did u choose the knife? way back, wen life was much more simpler and u were blissfully under the impression "this is all life about, bein happy nd care free"..nd then, takin it as granted, chose not to acknowledge the bliss daily. no. not your/my mistake. mistake was wen this wretched human race decided to step down the trees. no. adam! f*** u, adam! watever, u chose the knife or the other way round, it makes no difference(nature's palindrome) : the wound is for real...**

Ive been fighting it with all my might,
today's the night,
i end the fight,
to take a flight.
the plunge into my life, will be wid all the passion,
for dats all i have wen iam satan's irrestitible temptation!

**heheh, ok,ok,before my poetry gets nauseating, il stop it. but mate, its my first poem!! bingo!**

now,for the real purpose of this post : felix felicis!! yea,liquid luck! u want it,u got it! change the damn luck to ur favour!! wen uve got this, the bad luck is a fart in thunder(sheesh....cut out the metaphor, plzz :D)....ok, take the cup of life, fill it wid ur tears, each tear a disaster dat bothered ya (hold ur breath, thrs more :P) ; and throw it on satan's face,yellin out loud: "**** u man! iwon't let this happen nymore. don pretend u made me more wiser wid every disaster.gudbye!" nd then as the punk princess(avril!) says :Take some time,mellow out,party it up,dont fall down,dont get caught,sneak out of the house! aye! take tym out nd runaway some whr afar :D
now,now, dont make a face....rowling says she'l give it to me latr :D...until then,maybe wat i said might jst work out :P.
il come up wid smthng better some tym latr(god promise!)...

hells bells.

morning.wake up. nd so, toothbrush-paste.scrub. him. dress nd hair, ready. collage. him. borin classes.him. no haste, no pace; everything as fast as a painted ship upon a painted ocean. may be in my time frame,but take the time frame of universe...mine's too short.definitely short! nd so much activity in that small a time frame is a feat, and as enjoyable as watching the Louvre blindfolded! then its not at all a problem..none at all. none at all, btw, is how much i'd love being part of the muggle world, being as "dursley-ish" as possible. and u know iam a die-hard H.P. fan!
one day drags on to the other, with nothin much significant the day before nd the day to come...yet another day's passed by....aye god, i see u smirkin now...all my days r the same...wake-up,him,clg, him, attend borin classes, him, eat,him, and then fill my blog wid posts which nobody seems to take notice of....did i say him?

yeah, welcome aboard my malfunctioning time machine.

ermm..urghh..uh-huh!!!

19 years ago, my mum asked god "let there be light". He said, "usha kiran". Now, my mum's asking "do u take trade-in's"??? hahaa...but i continue bein myself!! ok, il let u know wat bein myself is!!